LaraGitara's Mundane Mutterings & Minutia

At 41

2009-07-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

Some things remain the same...
Most things are better...
Some things are taking off...
Most things are infinitely brighter...

Second chances are a good thing.

Sites

2009-01-29T13:14:00.000-08:00

www.pacificethnographic.org

www.haranathemovie.com

Daily Reminders...

2008-09-16T12:23:00.000-07:00

From David Foster Wallace...

"Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're evil or sinful, it's that they're unconscious. They are default settings.

"They're the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that's what you're doing.

"And the so-called real world will not discourage you from operating on your default settings, because the so-called real world of men and money and power hums merrily along in a pool of fear and anger and frustration and craving and worship of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom all to be lords of our tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the center of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talk about much in the great outside world of wanting and achieving. ... The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.

"That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing."

Updates on all my current projects

2008-09-12T16:39:00.000-07:00

HARANA
Harana Documentary Film, Trailer, and Donations.

LALAWIGAN - A Tagalog Song Cycle
Oct 4 and 5 at Bayanihan Community Center

Works in Progress Performance in conjunction with Kularts' Butterfly Kicks Works in Progress Series

"LOVE IN THE TIME OF BREAST CANCER"
Nov 6 - 8 at Off Market Theater
Written by Gayle Romasanta
Music Composed by Brandon Bigelow
Produced by Nicole Maxali Villanueva & Maggie Suarez

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Contact: Nicole Villanueva
415-816-3814
Maxali85@aol.com

South of Market Health Center & Pinays Maintaining Sisterhood Through Art
PRESENTS
“Love in the Time of Breast Cancer”

In conjunction with the South of Market Health Center (SMHC), Pinays Maintaining Sisterhood Through Art (PMSTA) celebrates Breast Cancer Awareness Month with an original musical, "Love in the Time of Breast Cancer." The performance follows one woman’s journey to live life to the fullest after surviving breast cancer. Filled with music and movement pieces, PMSTA's "Love in the Time of Breast Cancer" will make every woman inspired to be the author of her own story.

A poignant, yet hilarious musical, “ Love in the Time of Breast Cancer” is brought to you by producers Nicole M. Villanueva and Maggie Suarez; written by Gayle Romasanta; and directed by Fides Enriquez. Music composed by Brandon Bigelow with musical performances by Esperanza Catubig, Roberto Divina, Giovannie Espiritu, Michael Dorado, and Stephanie Sampang.

About PMS Through ART
“PMS Through Art/Pinays Maintaining Sisterhood Through Art" aims to inspire women with the courage to break free from the chains of limiting belief patterns and societal conditioning that have traditionally kept women suppressed and unable to see their true worth, beauty, and power.
Using creative productions, PMSTA strives to change the biases against Filipina American (FilAm) women, build awareness of their abilities to lead and create an avenue for open dialogue among Filipinas of all ages. PMSTA themes convey that all women are connected and are not alone on their personal journeys through life.

SHOWTIMES AND DATES:
November 6, 7 & 8 (Thursday – Saturday) Doors open at 7:30PM, show begins at 8PM
November 8th (Saturday) special Matinee performance, show begins at 2pm

TICKETS
General Admission: $20
Seniors/Students: $15

LOCATION
Off Market Theater, 965 Mission Street, San Francisco, CA 94103

Bell Jars

2008-08-18T11:16:00.000-07:00

In Union City I discover...
She found a poem...
Years ago...
"Communication is key..."
"That is beautiful news..."
"Now what..."
"I don't know..."

But I'll keep on diving till I drown the sea,
of things not worth, even mentioning
perhaps I'll come to the surface and come to my senses
but it's a very deep sea around my own devices.

Diving, diving.

"It's A Very Deep Sea"
by Style Council

Want List

2008-07-22T11:23:00.002-07:00

Feeling a little lazy, out of it, slightly hungover today....
So i'll just make a want list...

I want...

to go hiking again and then have a picnic at Alamere Falls
to go to the Tomales Bay Oyster farm and eat oysters and drink wine and enjoy the sun...
to go camping alone like I did last year at Big Sur (are the fires out yet?)
to go back to bed
to get a massage
to go to At'morok and live there for a month, at least
sushi and sake
to run
to sleep
to have cake on my birthday
reiki
to go to Maui with Gorheim and the sisiws
to wake up...

Forget Sex in the City!!

2008-07-15T10:43:00.000-07:00

This is the summer movie for me.

Oh I am soooo there at the midnight show! (with beers stowed in my jacket!)
What better way to spend the eve of turning 40!

Scully? Mulder?

4th of July Hike - Alamere Falls

2008-07-07T10:27:00.000-07:00

For Em's - Maraming Salamat, for reminding me...

Nais kong maihip ng hanging walang patutung'han
Parang ibong wala ring hangarin kundi ang lumipad nang lumipad
Nais kong lumipad

Nais ko ring maagos ng alon saan man mapadpad
Kahit na isdang mumuntiin, hangari'y lumangoy nang lumangoy
Nais kong lumangoy

Nais kong malibot ang mundo sa kanyang kasuluk-sulukan
Nais kong makita ang paligid kong puno ng kagandahan
Nais kong makadama ng kaibang damdamin kahit minsan man lang
Habang ako ay may buhay, wala nang hangarin pang tunay
Nais ko...nais ko...nais ko...

Nais kong maulit ang buhay
Kung may pagkakataon upang mamalas
Ang mga bagay-bagay na 'di ko natanto sa aking buhay
Nais kong maulit pa
Ulit-ulitin pa ang buhay ko...

*"Nais Ko"
Ryan Cayabyab

As

2008-06-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

Did you know that true love asks for nothing
Her acceptance is the way we pay
Did you know that life has given love a guarantee
To last through forever and another day

Just as time knew to move on since the beginning
And the seasons know exactly when to change
Just as kindness knows no shame
Know through all your joy and pain
That I'll be loving you always

As today I know I'm living but tomorrow
Could make me the past but that I mustn't fear
For I'll know deep in my mind
The love of me I've left behind cause I'll be loving you always

-Stevie Wonder
From "Songs In the Key of Life"

Happiness...

2008-06-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

I am really, really, REALLY, truly, deeply happy that gay folks can marry each other now in California. It's about time!

There.. I said it...

Worth Sharing From the Radio...

2008-06-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

Heard this on the radio this morning...
Baz Lurhmann's "Sunscreen Speech", based on Mary Schmich's column in the Chicago Tribune published in 1997.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future,
sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience
I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh nevermind,
you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself
and recall in a way you can’t grasp now, how much possibility lay before you
and how fabulous you really looked,
you are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts,
don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy, sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind,
the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults,
if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life,
the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22
what they wanted to do with their lives,
some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t,
Maybe you’ll divorce at 40,
Maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary
What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can, don’t be afraid of it,
or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurtin, but I've been waitin' to be there for you
And I'll be there just helping you out whenever I can

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings, they are the best link to your past
and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get,
the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard,
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander,
you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young
prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
Maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia,
dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off,
painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen

What's up?!?

2008-06-09T15:19:00.001-07:00

Harana Documentary Film Photo Shoot
with Photographer BJ Formento and Director Benito Bautista
Half Moon Bay
June 8, 2008

Founding Circle Fund Raiser Dinner
To Benefit the Harana Documentary Film
6-course Contemporary French menu
prepared by Chef Thomas Weibull
May 30, 2008

"We Love Vancouver!" or "the great thing about it is... click!"
KP's 15 year anniversary performance
Vancouver, BC
May 22-26, 2008

Everything is nice...

2008-06-03T01:00:00.000-07:00

Everything is nice right now...

I am doing what I want to do...
I have no money.. but I am creating and living the life I want.
So it's nice.. i'm not in someone else's rat race...

I have to remember not to freak out...
I have to remember that if I allow it, the universe will conspire to help me make my dreams come true.
I have to remember not to panic.

Well that was fun!

2008-05-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

I have to say, despite the anxiety and the terror... I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The Fides Enriquez Dance Collective made its debut at Kularts' 10th year POMO or Post Modern American Pilipino Performance Project.

It was the first time I created dance pieces out of the air - inspired only by songs and certain key movements. I really enjoyed creating contemporary, folk phrases. I loved pushing my body to the limit, rolling and jumping, contracting and releasing.

I am eternally grateful to Abe & Lori for being the ethereal spirits of Isagani and Candida, singing their song of love and pain; to Alberto for moving with me and telling the story; to Florante for composing and arranging the music - this beautiful haunting music for I &C, and for the joyous "Labada ni Aling Perla/ Singsing" piece.

Not bad for the first time I put something like that out there. The audience response seemed very positive.

And now I can check that off my list of things to accomplish for 2008.

Up next... fundraising for the "Harana" documentary film... (we have Director Benito Bautista, of "Gift of Barong" on board)...

and the "Lalawigan" Concert...
We have Paolo, we have Sylvia, we have Charmaine, we have Chus...

Wednesday is Sunday and the Maruchan Habit

2008-04-23T08:59:00.001-07:00

It is a Wednesday again. Wednesdays seem to be my blogging days... or at least my "reading columns while I relax and sip my morning coffee" days.. which inspires the blogging.

Wednesdays I find most difficult to get up and run. Why get up? Why run? We ran on Friday already, and during the weekend too, before all the weekend meetings and dance rehearsals and side jobs, and on Monday before all the other meetings, chores and what not. And on Tuesday after teaching those 3 classes of 2nd graders folk dance and then making the dinner for my own kids and then the homework and the parenting and all that. I want to stay in bed! It's Wednesday for crying out loud.

Well no wonder I can't get up on Wednesdays. Wednesdays are my Sundays. It's my day of rest. No let me clarify, Wednesday mornings are my days of rest. At least until noon... or 10 am, whichever comes first.

After Wednesday morning everything picks up again.... the picking up of the kids, the dinner making, the homework help, the parenting. Not to mention the emailing and the follow up emails. Then Thursday is the teaching the 2nd graders again, followed by the dance teaching in the after school program at SOMA... then the events that need attending, and more meetings and networking and wondering if I know what I'm really doing. Anyway, the list goes on. I am incoherent. I am babbling. I am going back to my Jamaican Blue coffee. It is Wednesday morning.. it is my Sunday. Guilty pleasure? Or necessary for my mental well being? Either way. I'll run later.

I am addicted to Maruchan Ramen... specifically Maruchan Ramen Lime Chili Shrimp flavor. Ah, MSG... I stir in a raw egg to the hot steaming noodles and mix right before I pour everything into my bowl. I add slivers of scallions for color. Gorheim got me hip to this Lime Chili Shrimp thing last month while I was convalescing. It is hot, it is spicy. With the egg it becomes creamy. My lips tingle from the spices. I am hooked right away. Now I'm not a big fan of ramen... all that salt and MSG and i'm sure someday someone will say it causes cancer. But this Lime Chili Shrimp! I bought packets and packets. It is one of my favourite morning meals... or late night snacks. Not the healthiest... but hey.... I added the egg and scallions... Whatever. I am babbling again.

It is Wednesday late morning. Everyone's at work or at school. It is quiet in the house. This is my Sunday.

Jamaican Blue and the French Press

2008-04-16T08:25:00.000-07:00

There are times when coffee is more than coffee.

After thinking about it for months, then talking about it for weeks... I finally bought my very own 4-cup Bodum French Press yesterday. I felt so liberated... my very own French press! Mine. Just for me. No one else. It was a cause for celebration. I even indulged myself and bought a half pound of Martha & Bros. Jamaican Blue Mountain at 22 bucks a half pound (that is quite a special treat when you're a self-employed artist).

This morning I decided to skip my run and brew my first cup of Jamaican Blue on my Bodum. It is a fine spring day out, the sky is clear, the trees are bright green with young leaves, and my allergies hasn't bothered me yet. And yes, the coffee is as smooth and mild as described in the brochure. I contemplate Jamaica and its mountains as I sip my coffee...

What's the deal right? What's so remarkable... coffee is coffee.

But today is different. Today I made my own coffee in my own Bodum. Not the "conjugal" Bodum. But my very own cute, compact, 4-cup press... because it's just for me... singular, not plural. Coffee and press purchased with wages made as an artist of dance and as a production manager for an upcoming concert. It is a damn good feeling.

It took me a year to finally buy this smaller Bodum since I left the house where my 8 cup Bodum of many years still makes coffee. But that one isn't mine anymore. Just like all the kitchen stuff I had to leave behind (don't even get me started on the knives and the pots and pans that I so depended on for many years).

Why did it take so long? I don't know. I didn't feel ready for the smaller, 4-cup version... until yesterday. It's a psyche thing... it's about transitions... it's about letting go of the past, it's objects and symbols. It's about finally embracing, fully and completely, my new life and the future. It's about timing. This is part of the final frontier. I've let go of my previous life in many ways prior to buying this french press. I've experienced repeatedly the excruciating agony of death of what once was, and today continue to revel in the growing pangs of re-birth. Just as leaving the corporate job of 8 years, or ending the marriage of 15 years was necessary ... buying this french press is another step towards self discovery, self awareness, self realization. Not as cathartic... it's just coffee beans and glass and wire mesh after all. But it's a step nonetheless.

Jamaican Blue Mountain
"The finest bean in the world is grown on the volcanic soils of Jamaica. The bean is characterized by its mild taste and smooth aroma, and most important of all, it has no aftertaste."

Doc film of note

2008-04-13T21:50:00.000-07:00

Women Behind the Camera - Informative, inspiring, incredible!

See it!

Influence

2008-04-05T15:20:00.000-07:00

Detour Shot by Nerinna Valera

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others"

from The Life and Work of Martha Graham

Upcoming... Dances about Love and Laundry

2008-04-02T13:13:00.000-07:00

Kularts' POMO 2008
May 17 & 18 at Zeum Theater, San Francisco
The Fides Enriquez Dance Collective will be making it's debut.

Check out the mug-shot and details here.

From Kularts' site -

The Fides Enriquez Dance Collective premieres two original dance theater works inspired by the musical arrangements of Florante Aguilar. Isagani at Candida (Isagani and Candida), a pas de deux, explores themes of love, tragedy, and transcendence, while Ang Labada ni Aling Perla (Aling Perla's Laundry) offers a tongue-in-cheek look at "Bayanihan"-style folkdancing through the magical fantasies of Aling Perla, a laundry woman for a prestigious Pilipino folk dance troupe.

Featuring:

Fides Enriquez
Alberto Vajrabukka
Florante Aguilar (music)
Lori Abucayan (vocals)
Abe Cajudo (vocals)

Alamere Falls, February 2008

2008-03-24T21:09:00.001-07:00

I love, LOVE hiking to Alamere Falls.

Chus is on board!

2008-03-23T21:48:00.000-07:00

Gorheim and I met with Chus Alonso today. I am so excited and honored... he agreed to the September show. It's going to be so awesome!! Be still my heart...

The Second Day of Spring

2008-03-21T23:02:00.001-07:00

and the moon is full.

I let Gerri and Gorheim take care of me...

*

Tunes of the day:

"Melodia Del Rio"
Ruben Gonzales
from "Introducing... Ruben Gonzales"

"Gracioso"
Paolo Bellinati
from "The Guitar Works of Garoto"

"Moorea"
Gypsy Kings

"Begin!"

2008-03-18T21:46:00.000-07:00

I think I'm adjusting... at least I panicked less this week and last.

I am more at ease with the "free" time. I can't even imagine going back to working in a cubicle in the corporate world.

I am getting everything I want... and I mean EVERYTHING. I have to start being careful about what I wish for, as thought does have a very definite way of becoming a physical, concrete reality these days. It is all good, but all in time.

The dance pieces are becoming more solid... "Isagani at Candida" is looking better each time I'm in the studio... and the music continues to evolve and takes my breathe away. "Labada Lamentations" is starting to reveal itself more as well. I am enjoying the process very much. I am learning (slowly and surely) how to work within my limitations - money, studio space, bodies - and appreciate what I do have at my disposal - amazing music, artists (musician, singers, dancer), and the occasional awesome dance studio with the mirrors and the large windows.

Life is good, very good. So many paths are open, and continue to open.

I am getting so much done! Now if I can only stay awake...

So far so good....

2008-03-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

I've spent my first week:

Waking up at 615am everyday - then wondering what I should do first
Trying not to feel guilty for having "free" time
Feeling guilty for having "free" time
Taking 5 dance classes within 3 days at ODC
Remembering how dance makes me feel alive and complete
Discovering phrases for "Isagani at Candida" and "Labada Lamentations" (working title)
Trying to overcome my fear of the "empty room" (or blank page, or blank canvas)
Learning about the SFAC PIC application at the Foundation Center
Learning about the structure of a narrative documentary film at FAF
Reading about the creative habit
Discovering what my creative habit is
Realizing waking up at 615am everyday is a very good thing for my routine
Creating a routine/ritual
Trying not to freak out
Getting totally blown away by the Shen Wei Dance Arts at YBCA
Getting a massage
Taking myself to lunch after the massage (that was on the first day)
Trying to do a lot
Spending more quality time with my kids
Trying not to feel guilty when I'm not dancing or working on photos or learning about films or how to find grants for all these things
Reminding myself it's been only the first week, take it easy...

What have I done?!

2008-03-06T22:58:00.000-08:00

I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive. - Henry Miller

I woke up at 530am Feb 29th to one singular thought... "oh shit! what have I done!! I don't have a job! I have nothing - no house, no job, nothing!"

Gorheim reminds me... you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

This week marks my first week of freedom... just me and the arts now...
It is scary, but I am loving every waking moment. For the first time in a long time, I feel completely alive.

Upcoming in May at POMO - "Isagani at Candida" & "Labada Lamentations", by the Fides Enriquez Dance Collective

Journeys

2008-02-28T21:38:00.000-08:00

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

~ The Four Quartets ~ TS Eliot

*Thanks to Allan M. for sharing this quote with me. Great to have you back!

Soledad

2008-02-23T23:43:00.000-08:00

Midnight rain...
Candles...
Loud thoughts...

Edith, or Edie for short

2008-02-18T21:57:00.000-08:00

The newest addition to the family...

Edie came from Norfolk, VA. A gift from grandma.

Billions upon billions...

2008-02-13T11:42:00.000-08:00

Or how "it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans" in this truly endless universe...

"Modern science's mechanistic conception of nature has generally been taken for granted as the basis for any realistic experience of the world. Contemporary physics and depth psychology both reveal, however, that this assumption, and the dualistic worldview it supports, is ultimately a selective construct of the human mind, conditioned by its own unconscious processes. In its passage through a landscape lush with symbols, the inner kora represents a movement inward toward a more participatory and empathic consciousness in which imagination reveals forms of awareness and layers of reality hidden to the objectifying mind...

“On a fundamental level, the world conforms to our inner vision, just as chemicals that bind with certain receptors in the brain alter how we see. Pilgrimage, in this sense, becomes a journey from ordinary perception into full consciousness of our interpretive role in determining reality, to recognize, as Padmasambhava states, that “all phenomenon are, in essence, the magical display of the mind...

“In distinction from the prosaic descriptions of science, in which words are confined to a single, precisely rendered meaning – the hermeneutic descriptions of the neyigs invite simultaneous levels of perception. Through a poetic mode of thought and communication that Thomas Mann referred to as moon grammar, they urge the pilgrim to see beneath the surface manifestations of the landscape into an open dimension, not unlike the implicate order of quantum physics, in which all is interconnected, luminous, and unbound – a primal matrix beyond the grasp of objectifying conciousness.”

- From "The Heart of the World"
by Ian Baker

Two Guitars & 76 Trombones

2008-02-10T21:25:00.000-08:00

Saturday at the Warfield

Rodrigo Y Gabriela performed at the Warfield last night. I've always enjoyed their music ever since I was first introduced to it.. but seeing them live...It was a f*ing amazing show. I was completely blown away. They are absolutely phenomenal crazy intense guitar players. The concert was high energy, orgasmic, heart pounding, rock out transformative and, to say the least, completely satisfying. If I still smoked I would've lit a cigarette. It was that awesome.

Muchas gracias to Gorheim for taking me!!

Sunday at the Eureka

Isa performed the first string of shows of SF Arts Ed Players production of Meredith Wilson's "The Music Man". She played the part of Mrs. Paroo, Marian the Librarian's Irish mom. She sang, danced, and delivered her lines with a distinctly Irish brogue. What can I say, i'm her mother... of course I thought she was fantastic!! I kept thinking, that's my girl up there!! There are more shows this coming weekend. Definitely worth seeing!

In other news

The weather was so fine this weekend... Running in Crissy Field was sublime.

Raffy's getting quite good at playing the clarinet.. even though he states unequivocally that he "hates it and why do I have to keep taking the stupid lessons!" I've got the best answer ... "because you have to!"

Juju's taking violin lessons... and absolutely loves it!

We welcome to the family Edith, or Edie... a year old dark chocolate labrador retriever. She was promised to the kids several months ago. She finally arrived from Virginia this past Friday. I have to admit... i've fallen head over heels in love with her.

Lalawigan - We got Sylvia!!

2008-02-05T10:48:00.000-08:00

The Search for Sylvia has finally ended! On a cold rainy blustery Saturday evening, her agent/ rep Chari informed us Madame La Torre is in, and would happily perform her classic kundiman and balitaw songs with solo guitar. Then she fed us some nice home made bibingka.

The show will be in September at the Herbst Theater.
We have a director (the indefatigable Alleluia Panis), we have PR people. We have some funding (c/o the SF Arts Commission).

Next step - The Search for Isagani and Macario.
(Also, the search for more funding.)

"We'll consult with our lawyer..."

2008-02-04T11:29:00.000-08:00

From the wire...

Oooh GPS... but really, give me an old fashioned paper map anyday.

Deluge

2008-01-29T13:46:00.000-08:00

It just keeps raining.
Yesterday I saw the sun and some blue sky. Today it's raining again.
So much water...

Rainy Days Tunes of the Day (heck, for the week!)
(feel free to add)

* "Rain", by Ryuichi Sakamoto
* "Pumapatak Na Naman Ang Ulan", by Apo Hiking Society
* "Banana Pancakes", by Jack Johnson
* "Come Rain or Come Shine", by Harold Arlen, Sung by Billie Holiday
* "Gymnopedies No. 3" for Piano, by Erik Satie
* "I'll Look Around", Sung by Madeleine Peyroux

****************

Tagalog Word of the Day
Sandata - weapon

2008-01-24T21:58:00.000-08:00

"The time has come to recognize that negative circumstances can be transformed into spiritual power and attainment... Utilize adversities and obstacles as the path!"

- Padmasambhava

Kaarawan

2008-01-11T13:38:00.000-08:00

Sa simoy ng hangin
Tulog ay mahimbing
Alat ng tubig
Mahiwagang daigdig
Guhit ng alon
Dala ay pagibig
Kastilyo sa hangin
Pangarap ko’y pagmasdan
Sa dalampasigan.

- Dalampasigan, by Florante Aguilar
Paraiso
2007

Bagong Taon

2008-01-02T10:33:00.000-08:00

What a glorious feelin
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds so dark up above;
The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love.
Let the stormy clouds chase everyone from the place,
Come on with the rain, I've a smile on my face.
I walk down the lane with a happy refrain,
Just singin', singin' in the rain...

flutter flutter some more... Predaliens!!

2007-12-07T12:29:00.001-08:00

"When the Predator scout ship crash lands in a Colorado town, the Aliens on board escape and infect the town. A lone “Wolf” Predator is sent to clean up and kill all the Aliens. Meanwhile, people who live in the Colorado town are helplessly caught in the middle of the ultimate face-off between the two space monsters. The human plot seems to center around stopping the alien outbreak before the military carpet bombs the area to contain it."

Oh this looks like it will be awful.... I gotta see it!! On Christmas eve! What better way to spend it! Midnight show! Forget christmas dinner and presents and trees and eggnog and lights... Aliens vs F*ing Predators man!!! I am sooo sneaking in beers!!!

There's gonna be Predaliens!!! Oh it's going to be fun!

flutter, flutter, flutter

2007-12-05T17:02:00.000-08:00

You never know what's going to happen. I don't even assume I know anything anymore. I don't even know what I want, and some things just never change, no matter how I've tried to convince myself.

Just when I think i've got some things figured out...I realize I could possibly be wrong. But it's all good. I just hope I haven't completely ruined everything. I hope not too much has changed. Wait, what am I saying?! Do I even know what I'm talking about? I don't know...Where destiny takes us, right? I'm open. Take me there... clammy hands and nerves and all. Times like this I really need the voice of my inner guide to speak up... 'coz my heart is pounding way, WAY too loud.

The cab driver in Honolulu said..."life without music is like french fries without ketchup!"

Amen, brother! There's plenty of music in life.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!

2007-11-21T09:32:00.000-08:00

I said a teary goodbye to the kids last night. They are going to visit their dad's side of the family in the beautiful, rugged, southern coast of Oregon... a trip i've made with them many times over. Everything will be different now, specially around the holidays. Time to make new rituals, new traditions. The kids have been adjusting rather well to all the changes. However last night was a bit difficult, specially for the boy.

We acknowledge and mourn the loss of the ways things used to be. And we move forward. Or so I like to think. One day at a time. The kids will be with the other side of the family, they need to see them and spend time with them. I'll be out of town, too. I'll be in Hawaii. Hey, not bad at all. A much needed vacation, a new tradition! A wonderful gift from the universe.

But it was with a heavy heart I got up this morning, full of guilt and apprehension and sadness. Am I doing the right things for the kids? What more can I do? If only there are more hours in a day. And then i'm filled with anger again, and frustration, and despair, then back to guilt. And I miss them so much already. But we move forward and try to figure things out. One day at a time.

Then I get to work... and I find this most marvelous of news! Luce has a show next week at Cafe Du Nord! Thank you Jesus!!! What a relief!! I haven't seen their show since July. And I badly need my Luce fix before the year is over. I need to hear the music that rocks my bones and brings joy to my soul... specially these days, when things seem so new and strange and everyday is a whirling whirlwind of an emotional roller coaster.

I am grateful to the universe once again. Thank you for family my children can be with for a traditional thanksgiving in Oregon. Thank you for friends who take me to Hawaii. And thank you for the Luce show in one of my favourite venues in town during this most trying time of year!!!

***
"I've recovered myself
Forgave all my sins
I jump in the pool and float around around the deep end
Leg 'em up on the wire without a net
Without a circus and without a tent
And I want you to understand
That i'm just saving myself
I'm blooming like daffodils on the sunniest of weekends"
***

November 21, 2007

Greetings Fides,

We all hope you’re doing well and getting in the holiday mood with Thanksgiving approaching.

LUCE has some new things going on and we just want to make sure you know what’s happening so you can be in on all the fun!

First off, thank you so much to everyone who came out to the Fox show in Redwood City! We hope you had as much fun as we did and enjoyed the video in the background. It was something new for the band and we hope to be able to do similar things in future shows.

If you need more of a LUCE fill, the guys will be playing at Café du Nord in San Francisco on November 29th. Joel Streeter and Brad Brooks will be opening the show, starting at 7:30. Doors will open at 7pm and tickets are $12. Remember, Café du Nord is 21 and over so be sure to start asking around for a babysitter or to borrow an ID of someone who is over 21. (Just kidding!)

If Thursday’s show isn’t enough LUCE for you, Tom will be playing at San Francisco’s Rockit Room Friday, November 30th. The show is being hosted by a friend of LUCE, Heather Combs and is a singer/songwriter showcase for Bay Area musicians. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. For more information check out the band’s website or the Rockit Room website at http://www.rock-it-room.com.

We hope that all of you that made it out to the Fox show in October had a great time. All of us did. We also hope that you were able to pick up the band’s new EP. If you have not already gotten your copy of Songs From The Covers Catalogue, you can order it at the band’s website under the “store” tab for $7.99 plus shipping and handling. The EP covers songs from The Beatles, The Kinks as well as Nickel Creek and more. If you’ve ever wanted to listen to LUCE’s rendition of “Eleanor Rigby” whenever you want, now you can! We also have a few more t-shirts in stock of the “Definition” design for both men and women. Sizes are limited so order soon! LUCE gear makes a great Holiday gift for the LUCE fan in your life so make sure you order in time to make it a gift for a loved one this Holiday Season!

And finally, for those of you that are friends of the band on myspace, check out our page which has recently undergone a makeover. Even if you’re not a myspace friend, you can check us out at www.myspace.com/luce and then add us as your friend!

We hope to see you at the upcoming shows and that you all have a great Thanksgiving with friends and family!

www.luceband.com
www.myspace.com/luce

Manchester Beach KOA part deux

2007-11-08T10:11:00.001-08:00

The girlfriends and I decide to have a little slumber party at Manchester Beach KOA early this fall...

Pt. Reyes Lighthouse

The northern California coast...

Them there's cows...or commute traffic

Tomales Bay Oyster Farm for lunch..."You gotta have a beautiful fall day, at least 3 cheeses, couple of bottles of chardonnay, 50 oysters, and really really good cornichons..."

Cat helps shuck...

My kind of camping... or Double Fisting in the evening with Kir Royale in one hand, very nice Cabernet in the other (notice the "spa/cucumber water" on the right)

Maria's (aka "the Romanian") first ever roasting marshmallows by the campfire experience

Our little cabin...

Double fisting again, this time at breakfast...

Crazy women on the beach

Gerri's New Ocean Front property...

Why are we walking in a line? Someone might get lost...

And the moral of the story is...

Time

2007-10-16T13:19:00.000-07:00

Don't put your head on my shoulder
Sink me in a river of tears
This could be the best place yet
But you must overcome your fears
In time we could've been so much more
But time is precious I know
In time we could've been so much more
The time has nothing to show
because
Time won't give me time
And time makes lovers feel
Like they've got something real
But you and me we know
We got nothing
but time
And time won't give me time
Won't give me time

- Time (Clock of the Heart)
From Kissing to be Clever
Culture Club

Photos from the Show

2007-10-10T13:52:00.001-07:00

Ifugao Music & Dance Ensemble of Banaue at Zeum Theater with APDT
Photos by Nerinna Valera

Still going...

2007-10-10T11:39:00.000-07:00

From Kularts...

BIG LOVE to all the folks who navigated the downtown gridlock to watch FLOW THE BUCK UP! and the Ifugao Music & Dance Ensemble of Banaue @ the Zeum last weekend! But the fun doesn't stop there…check out all the other KUL stuff we're up to . . .

Our seven tribal artists, from ages 24-62, have been gracing stages and wowing audiences throughout the Bay, bringing to us an unbelievably rich cultural experience of the tribal North through gangha music, warrior dances, soul-stirring chants, infectious celebrations, and portrayals of everyday tribal life. If you still haven't seen them (or want to catch them again), check out these stops along their tour:

The Ifugao Music & Dance Ensemble of Banaue
in Sac-Town!
Thursday, October 11, 2007 - 7:30PM
Union Ballroom
Sacramento State University
6000 J Street Sacramento, CA 95819
FREE!
With opening performances by Master Harana Guitarist, Florante Aguilar and vocalist, Lori Abucayan
For more info:(916) 278-6997

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IFUGAO Dance Workshops
Bayanihan Community Center
1010 Mission St. Suite B. San Francisco, CA

Get up-close and personal with our gifted Ifugao master artists in an exciting, hands-on series of music and dance workshops at the Bayanihan Community Center.

Learn the deeper meaning of Ifugao Tribal dance straight from the source! Don't miss this UNIQUE opportunity!

Workshop 1: Tuesday, Oct 16, 2007, 7-9PM
Workshop 2: Thursday, Oct 18, 2007, 7-9PM

The cost per workshop is $25 OR
Sign up for BOTH workshops for only $40!
To register for workshops, please visit www.kularts.org

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Ifugao Music & Dance Ensemble
at Sonoma State University
Saturday, October 20, 2007 - 8PM
Warren Auditorium
1801 East Cotati Dr.
Rohnert Park, CA
FREE!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Ifugao Music & Dance Ensemble
City College of SF / Diego Rivera Theater
Thursday, October 25, 2007 - 12:30PM
Diego Rivera Theater
50 Phelan St.
San Francisco, CA
FREE!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Interested in a deeper experience? HURRY! Book a workshop, performance, lecture & demonstration for your organization or school, or host a dinner or outing! Their calendar is filling up fast!

For more information on any of these events or for booking information: Phone 415-239-0249 or Email info@kularts.org.

So I thought I could dance...

2007-09-28T13:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is... but learning the dances of the Ifugao has been quite... difficult. Looks simple enough... but we (APDT) are all just having the darndest time trying to execute the movements. Two nights in a row already i've gone home wondering why i'm doing this... This has been such a trying week. I know nothing.

The "boys" are great though. There's always lots of laughter. But man... we are all stressed out. At least, the men are beautiful on stage. The flurry of red bahags, and the feathers, and the dongla head dresses, and the hypnotizing and intense him-mung to the beat of the pat-tung is absolutely mezmerizing.

from the program...

"Before the him-mung the tingiting is performed. The priest goes into the forest to divine the will of the spirits. The call of the "ido" bird must be heard before the him-mung can begin. Him-mung - in a state of trance the men while playing the pat-tung dances for three days from the forest clearing to the house of the dead.

The Him-mung is a ritual... seeking justice for the dead, balancing the energy of the universe..."

Working with the Masters

2007-09-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

The Ifugao Music & Dance Ensemble of Banaue are here! I feel so honored to learn their dances and perform beside them. The Ifugao aesthetic looks deceptively simple, but the movements are full of subtleties. I am unlearning 10 years of Bayanihan/Likha training. It is an amazing experience... hearing the gangha in San Francisco.

The show is Sept 29 and 30, 3pm at Zeum Theater. More info here.
Watch the Ifugao in action here.

And from earlier this year, check out this short clip from POMO 2007. (That's me under the salakot with BongBong Productions/ Sean San Jose, Jonsen Vitug)

*****

Tagalog Words of the Day Edition 9/19/2007

Himpapawid - Sky
Langit - (n.) Heavens, Sky
Ulap - (n.) Clouds

Vanishing words...

2007-09-19T09:15:00.000-07:00

Thousands of languages dying
Almost half of world's tongues face extinction, study finds
by John Noble Wilford, New York Times

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Of the estimated 7,000 languages spoken in the world today, linguists say, nearly half are in danger of extinction and are likely to disappear in this century. In fact, they are now falling out of use at a rate of about one every two weeks.

Some endangered languages vanish in an instant, at the death of the sole surviving speaker. Others are lost gradually in bilingual cultures, as indigenous tongues are overwhelmed by the dominant language at school, in the marketplace and on television.

New research, reported Tuesday, has identified the five regions of the world where languages are disappearing most rapidly. The "hot spots" of imminent language extinctions are northern Australia, central South America, North America's upper Pacific coastal zone, eastern Siberia, and an area that includes Oklahoma and the southwestern United States. All of the areas are occupied by aboriginal people speaking diverse languages, but in decreasing numbers.

The study was based on field research and data analysis supported by the National Geographic Society and the Living Tongues Institute for Endangered Languages, an organization for the documentation, revitalization and maintenance of languages at risk. The findings are described in the October issue of National Geographic magazine and at www.languagehotspots.org.

At a teleconference with reporters Tuesday, K. David Harrison, an assistant professor of linguistics at Swarthmore College, said that more than half of the languages have no written form and are "vulnerable to loss and being forgotten." When they disappear, they leave behind no dictionary, no text, no record of the accumulated knowledge and history of a vanished culture.

Harrison; Gregory D. S. Anderson, director of the Living Tongues Institute in Salem, Ore., and Chris Rainier, a filmmaker with the National Geographic Society have traveled in recent years to many parts of the world, the beginning of what they expect to be a long-term series of projects to identify and record endangered languages.

The researchers, focusing on distinct oral languages, not dialects, interviewed and made recordings of the few remaining speakers of a language and collected basic word lists.

The projects, some of which extend over three to four years, involve hundreds of hours of audio recordings, development of grammars and preparation of children's readers in the subject language. The research has especially concentrated on preserving language families that are on their way out.

In Australia, nearly all of whose 231 spoken aboriginal tongues are endangered, the researchers came upon such tiny language communities as the three known speakers of Magati Ke in the Northern Territory and the three Yawuru speakers in Western Australia.

Many of the 113 languages spoken in the Andes Mountains and Amazon basin are poorly known and are rapidly giving way to Spanish or Portuguese, or in a few cases, to a more-dominant indigenous language. For example, a group known as the Kallawaya use Spanish or Quechua in daily life, but also have their own secret tongue, used mainly for preserving knowledge of medicinal plants, some of which were previously unknown to science.

The dominance of English threatens the survival of the 54 indigenous languages of the Northwest Pacific plateau of North America, a region including British Columbia, Oregon and Washington. There remains only one person who speaks Siletz Dee-ni, the last of many languages once spoken on a reservation in Oregon.

In eastern Siberia, the researchers said, government policies have forced speakers of minority languages to use national and regional languages, such as Russian or Sakha.

Forty American Indian languages are still spoken in Oklahoma, Texas and New Mexico, many of them originally used by indigenous tribes and others introduced by Eastern tribes that were forced to resettle on reservations there, mainly in Oklahoma. Several of the languages are moribund.

*****

Tagalog Word of the Day Edition 9/18/20

Himagsikan - (n.) revolution

Word & Trails

2007-09-14T15:48:00.000-07:00

I've discovered quite a few amazing hiking trails in the Bay Area this summer, particularly at Samuel P. Taylor National Park in Marin, off San Anselmo/Sir Francis Drake boulevard heading west towards Pt. Reyes. My knees sometimes don't hold up the way they used to, but the gantimpala at the top of the trail is worth it! As are the burgers, beers and vegetable basket at Barney's after a long hike!

This is a good site to look for hikes.

Tagalog Word of the Day Edition 09/14/07

Buntong hininga - (n.) sigh

2007-09-12T10:53:00.000-07:00

Tagalog Words of the Day -

Tambiolo - The rotating receptacle used in raffle drawings in Pilipino variety shows containing either numbered balls or pieces of raffle tickets. Pepe Pimentel used to jokingly call it tambyobyo on Kuwarta o Kahon.

Gantimpala - reward

*****
Late spring
Number 1 is attending High School now

Striking out, heading north

2007-09-10T22:13:00.000-07:00

Manchester Beach, Late June 2007

Early summer I decided to test my single parenting skills and took the kids camping overnight at the Manchester Beach KOA in Mendocino County. Wasn't quite roughing it... we had a cabin that had a microwave and fireplace. Most of the trip was about getting there. I took Highway 1 the whole way, I'd forgotten how beautiful and dramatic the coast is. The rest of the summer I spent many weekends driving up and down the coast.The beach was gorgeous, and we spent most of the night by the bonfire roasting marshmallows and making smores. Next time, we'll be pitching a tent.

Life is shorts...

2007-09-07T10:51:00.000-07:00

Adventures in parenting:
Number 1 is at 102 for the 3rd day, seeing the doctor at 3...
Agong turned 12 last 30th...
Number 3 has some hair left...

And from the inbox today...

A Short Story Written by Melanie Marquez

We' ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya. And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I get your number?" Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya, The! Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears. Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch na rin. Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time. After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor. Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces. Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here." What the fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling her boyfriend. Ats if! I don't want to portrait the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please, mine you own business!" Who would believe her anyway? Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy. Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look at is this way. She's our of our lives."

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion.

A Beautiful Movie

2007-09-05T12:34:00.000-07:00

"What do you mean everyone?"
"EVERYONE!!!"

******

"And stop saying 'okay' all the time. Okay?"
"Okay."

What the heck...

2007-09-02T22:31:00.000-07:00

I am trying to join this facebook thing... except I can't remember my f-ing password.

*@%#!!! Who has time for this stuff?!!

Gorio needs curtains...

2007-08-27T14:06:00.001-07:00

"Occasionally, events in one's life become clearer through the prism of experience, a phrase which simply means that things tend to become clearer as time goes on. For instance, when a person is just born, they usually have no idea what curtains are and spend a great deal of their first months wondering why on earth Mommy and Daddy have hung large pieces of cloth over each window in the nursery. But as the person grows older, the idea of curtains becomes clearer through the prism of experience. The person will learn the word "curtains" and notice that they are actually quite handy for keeping a room dark when it is time to sleep, and for decorating an otherwise boring window area. Eventually, they will entirely accept the idea of curtains, and may even purchase some curtains of their own, or venetian blinds, and it is all due to the prism of experience."

- by Lemony Snicket, Horseradish, Chapter 11

New Work

2007-08-21T17:04:00.001-07:00

"Vegetables never sounded so good. Florante Aguilar's masterful guitar work and lively arrangement, along with the percussive brilliance of Mingo Lewis, conjures images of blue skies, deep azure waters, a plethora of vegetation, flowers in bloom promising lush tomatoes, upo heavy on the vine. It is a sumptuous, joyful version of the traditional children's song about that idyllic garden behind that iconic bahay kubo."

The kite song rocks too.

Listen... click on Bahay Kubo or Saranggola ni Pepe
Or better yet, just buy "Paraiso" by Florante Aguilar and Lori Abucayan, and enjoy a taste of paradise...

Nubel Pinoy Kwisin

2007-08-21T13:38:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Paahan Bistro and Karenderia, where all dishes are painstakingly prepared to bring you the best in nouvelle pinoy cuisine. Located in the heart of Kalokohan City, by chefs Mariang Mababa-ang-Kaligayahan and Jose Promotor-ng-Kung-Anu-Anong-Kababalaghan. They are joined by pastry chef Petrang Panik-Panaog and sommelier - Leo Lasinguero. Finacial adviser and accountant Manny Maling-Kwenta, and wholesale buyer Ramiro Pacquiao completes the team.

Offerings

Pinagalitang Pato Pate' - direct from the talipapa, the pato is scolded for a full 45 minutes for majoring in modernist performance art instead of choosing the practical route of nursing school during the current socio-economic clime by unfulfilled anal retentive parents who toil daily in cubicles in city hall filing papers. The duck liver is smoked with bawang, then ground into a smooth creamy consistency, served with kamyas cornichons, bittermelon and pan de sal brioche.

Kinawawang Kambing - The goat is subjected overnight to local pinoy telenovelas, old Nora Aunor movies, and endless recordings of Fred Panopio's "Ang Kawawang Koboy". The depressed meat is then boiled, rubbed with seasalt and sage, then left out to dry. Served with gruel and colorless kamatis confit by waiters singing to Glen Campbells "Like A Rhinestone Cowboy":

"Ang kawawang koboy,
May baril, walang bala
May bulsa, wala namang pera..."

Binatukang Baka - The unsuspecting cow is hit over the head repeatedly with the back of the hand to confuse and irritate it. It is then grilled over charcoal, and presented with aggravated kamoteng kahoy emulsion and roasted luya.

Ininsultong Lasing na Manok - the chefs subject the chicken to 3 full minutes of insults by bringing up its questionable ancestry, possible bastard lineage, and sub-standard egg laying skills. For enhanced flavor, we add a dash of attack to its self-esteem. Simmered for 2 minutes in fermented coconut milk reduction and gently reminded that its father lost a sabong match in less than 30 seconds, it is served with inacharang langgam and fibrous palay garnish.

Specials of the Day

Inututang Bibe - Bloated, milk drinking lactose intolerant, soybean eating chefs take turns exposing the duck to individual aromatic, flatulence for several hours. Served with fluffy, runny rice and pungent pickled durian.

Binuwisit na Sisiw - The dish, also popularly known as Pinakawalang Sisiw, is a rare delicacy. The chick is led to believe it has escaped its cage. On the run, the chick is suddenly accosted and completely taken by surprise. The trauma to the chick's psyche lends itself to a very rich flavor due to chemicals released to the muscles and tendons while in flight. Served with chilled sour grapes to contrast the chick's sense of irony.

Inalaskang Manok - Not to be confused with Pinagalitang Manok, the chicken in Inalaskang Manok is assumed to be a good sport, able to take the good natured kidding and "roasting" the chef throws its way before its neck is wrung. The chicken assumes neck-wringing is part of the joke therefore it dies happy. Chickens that die happy naturally taste better. Served with relish.

Collaborations...

2007-07-16T19:32:00.001-07:00

with a haranista, a writer, a flamenco dancer and mantones de manila expert...

"a multi-disciplinary performance exploring the dark beauty of love in three acts..."

maybe in the fall...

"Fe in the Desert"

2007-06-04T08:43:00.000-07:00

I caught the Gala preview last night of Jessica Hagedorn's latest play "Fe in the Desert" at Intersection for the Arts with Campo Santo. Took my breath away. Amazing play... had some of that intense True West flavor, but with that unmistakable Hagedornesque surreality. It was a well casted play - very very strong actors. Margo Hall as Fe was riveting. JV played the character Mook, and boy was I scared of him! You have to watch the play, period.

In the house last night were some awesome powerhouse women... I sat next to Janice Mirikitani, Angela Davis was a few seats away, Ntozake Shange was in front, and of course, Jessica herself. I couldn't believe the space I was in.. all these strong, talented, inspiring women - artists, writers, poets, activists, mothers... in one place! And I was there with them!! Too bad I had a very bad case of laryngitis. I couldn't say a thing. I just had to bask in their presence. It was all I can do really. Which in a way was good, kept me from making a fool of myself.

I had to take in what that all meant... being there in that moment in time - the play, those women, the night. I think the universe is definitely telling me something, and I am listening.

Of Note...

2007-05-21T22:55:00.000-07:00

"To name a sensibility, to draw its contours and to recount its history, requires a deep sympathy modified by revulsion."
- Susan Sontag, 1964

Some interesting viewing and reading...

Female Chauvinist Pigs
The Massie Affair
The Beauty Myth
Really excellent Sonoma Valley Merlot, 1999 Reserve Selection Merlot from Matanzas Creek Winery.
Books available on Amazon and any bookstore worth its salt.
The Massie Affair available on PBS.
Check out Matanzas Creek Winery in the summer and smell the lavender. Leave the drama behind.

Directions...

2007-05-20T23:08:00.000-07:00

I am torn between divulging the truth or keeping the silence.

Am I angry, hurt and humiliated enough to blurt it out? Or should I just keep my mouth shut? Continue keeping the secrets?

I feel the secrets are eating away at me. Festering. I want to let it go. I want to shout it out. I want to throw it out to the wind. I want to be the better person. I want to heal. I want to be free of it. I want to move on.

I don't have anything to hide, after all. Why can't I just tell? I feel it's not my place. But what is my place? When I can't even write about my own experience... then something is not right. I feel this sense of loyalty. I don't want to hurt other people. Is this compassion? Or a kind of stockholm syndrome? I guess this is why I'm in therapy. I'll tell ya what would be therapeutic. Telling, that's what's going to make me feel better. Or will it?

Someday, this will all make for some really interesting reading. Or not.

I just want to get better.

Today started very well. For the first time in weeks I felt I've actually healed some. Like a huge weight off my shoulders. I began to truly understand why I am the way I am, and I was beginning to get connected with my higher self. I started to feel whole again. I remembered who I am. But it changed in the evening when the weight of these awful secrets returned. I can't wish them away. Just have to get through them. Wrestle with the demons, the things within and without me that keep me from becoming whole.

I remind myself that there is a bigger world out there, and there are people in worse situations. Someday this will all pass, and it won't matter anymore. It's just that right now, this pain is in me, and it matters a lot. I remind myself to place one foot in front of the other, and breathe. I tell myself to take it gently with me. It's ok to be angry, and feel hurt, and feel sad. Healing takes time. And I am getting better everyday.

Now what...

2007-05-16T14:37:00.000-07:00

In between tears and grief, anxiety and panic, fear and worry...
Thank god I live where I live!

PS at Somarts went quite well, much much better than I expected. By the 3rd performance I had that evil Mamasan part down. I think I was enjoying it too much. SSJ says to me, "ya, I can see it took you all of 5 seconds to get into character". Yep, I was definitely drawing on past experience on that one (bitchy dance teacher... who can that be?) The other character was more difficult to portray. But I managed it... I drew from past horrors. I love how art aids the healing process.

After the show, I realized Mae and G were in the audience. "Aha! Now we know what you do!"

**

P23 at Elbo Room was off the hook! Yeow!!

The Sound: Herbie Hancock's Cuban Headhunters... Medeski, Martin, and Wood with a percussionist... Los Van Van's rhythm section jamming out...The Meters at a rumba in Havana...

P23 focuses on live group chemistry über-alles with Afro-Caribbean folkloric beats, experimental jazz harmonies, funky Latin grooves, electronic textures, and soulful melodic hooks. Intricately arranged compositions transform into entirely free group improvisations - the quartet does not hesitate to take chances in its constant musical exploration. This energy generated on stage is inspiring steadily growing audiences to booty shaking ecstasy on the dance floor.

It's like that music they had in those 70's flicks with the car chase and they'd have that crazy bass and the latin rythm/conga percussion thing going. Yea, like that! But crazier!

**

Mother's Day sucked big time this year. Well, maybe not completely. Jules made me the sweetest present. I love those handmade gifts. But I wouldn't want to do it over again. However, brunch at Garcon was very nice. Oooh la la! And Home has THE best french fries in town.

**

Jelly's had great music Friday night. Except I think the night we went was geriatric and challenged night. Think white hair gents with cold hands, and Raymond of Rainman doing the salsa. Trelawney says... "next time Thursday at Cocomo!!" I have to agree.

**

Oola has wonderful food and really sexy hot cheese plates. But the service sucks. Or maybe i'm just fully annoyed for being ignored by the host and hostess for a full 20 minutes while I waited for my friends. All looks and no substance.

**

Gaucho still plays at Amnesia Wednesday nights. No cover!

**

Eddie Duran will be at Savanna Jazz on May 26.

**

Luce will be playing at Red Devil Lounge on June 7.

**

It's good to be around artists who actually does things. I think I had an inspired thought at 4am after the last PS show. And between you and me, ideas are coming less frequently my way the last couple of years. Got to hold on to them when they do appear.

**

Fe in the Desert runs May 31 through June 25 at Intersection. PS with APDT will be opening on the June 24 show. Will Jessica H. be there that night? I'm going to be so nervous!

**

This music is so damn beautiful. I hate it!
Someone ought to collaborate.

And

BCGD plays tango, and Purple Haze (a la Bartok) or King of Pain (Bagatelle style) is just so masterfully done. I'm going to puke.

**

I love this town!

On the radar...

2007-05-08T15:45:00.000-07:00

I know some folks that have been to Bistro Luneta and they have given mixed reviews. I'm going to have to try it for myself and decide.

You can read SF Chronicle's Michael Bauer review here.

Waves and waves...

2007-05-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

"Just when you think you're in control,
just when you think you've got a hold,
just when you get on a roll,
here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again.
Oh, here it goes again.
I should have known,
should have known,
should have known again,
but here it goes again.
Oh, here it goes again."

-"Here It Goes Again"
OK Go
(Check 'em out on YouTube)

Alamere Falls part deux

2007-04-28T22:57:00.000-07:00

This time without the clouds. Just blue sky, blue ocean, green trees, orange-fuschia-yellow wildflowers, and musical theater serenades by number One, Zoe and little R.

*

They say it takes half the time of the total time together to "get over" a relationship. So... that must mean 7 years, or 7 1/2 years. Over 7 years?!! I'll be nearly 50 by then!! Then I'm told, I do have an advantage... shrink therapy! Does that mean the healing time is lessened by half of that half? So... 3 years. 3 years?!!! I don't think I have the patience. Xanax take me away! Or just keep going to Luce concerts...

*

I'm part of a project I "should" be more happy to be part of. But, I don't know. For the first (or maybe second or even third) time, i'm part of something i'm not too thrilled to be part of, once I saw the script. I don't know... being window dressing for complaining young writers is just so not what I want to do right now. But i'm torn. I have loyalty. I have doubt. I have guilt. I have boundary issues. I have insecurity. I need to be part of something creative. I need to feel needed. I have hope the process will reveal a greater wisdom that will carry me to the next level of higher consciousness. (also, I want to be part of the opener for the latest Jessica Hagedorn play coming up at Intersection in June).

Or maybe I just walked under the sun way too long today, breathed way too much eucalyptus salt air, hung around the beach way too long, watched way too many happy couples together while I played single mom, then had way too many glasses of (very fine) merlot while waiting for the pizza and anchovies to be delivered.

*

Coast side driving music, sake and sushi memories, then and now...

"Well there's people and more people
What do they know know know
Go to work in some high rise
And vacation down at the gulf of mexico
Ohhh yeah
And there's winners, and there's losers
But they ain't no big deal
cuz the simple man baby pays for the thrills,
The bills and the pills that kill"

- Little Pink Houses, John Cougar Mellencamp

*

Notes from a friend far away...
"So great to hear from you as we continue our rotations, wanderings and tripping over bumps. It can only make us wiser or at least that’s what we’re told. As long as there’s still good wine and cheese, it shouldn’t really matter, right?"

Spring Break Expedition

2007-04-26T22:33:00.000-07:00

Adventure for a day based on a tip from the paper...

Synopsis: 8.4-mile round trip on the Coast Trail from Palomarin Trailhead near Bolinas, rated moderate.

Boy mercury shootin through every degree
oh girl dancin down those dirty and dusty trails
take it hip to hip rock it through the wilderness
around the world the trip begins with a kiss

roam if you want to
roam around the world
roam if you want to
without anything but the love we feel
-Roam, B52's

Oceanview trail...

Trail through the pine tree forest...

Bass Lake...

On the trail...

Intrepid and accessorized Explorer...

Beside Alamere Falls...

At top of Alamere Falls...

Above the ocean...

Cliffside upclose...

Moving rocks...

Alamere Falls...

On the beach...

My deepest gratitude to The Chronicle's Tom Stienstra for writing about Alamere Falls!

Getting there: From San Francisco, take Highway 101 north to Marin and exit at Sir Francis Drake Boulevard. Head west and drive about 20 miles to the town of Olema and the junction with Highway 1. Turn left and drive 9.3 miles to Olema-Bolinas Road on the right (the sign is often missing). Turn right and drive 1.5 miles to Mesa Road. Turn right and drive 6 miles (past an area known as the Towers because of all the antennas) to the parking area and Palomarin Trailhead.

"I gotta memorize this poem..."

2007-04-25T11:44:00.000-07:00

Adam in the undergrowth

Hey Crowd! Be Loud! LOUDER!! GO PIRATES!!!

SFArtsEd Players performed the world premier of "Yellow Wood" the past couple of weeks at the SOTA theater. Simply magnificent, amazing and stellar performances by truly talented kids.

Read about it and see more pictures here.

Tater tot casse... casse... casse....ROOOOOLLLLL!

Exciting Times in the Wood...

2007-04-12T13:33:00.000-07:00

Number One has been doubly busy this school year... striving to keep up with school work (8th grade and all that entails), plus hours and hours and days and days of rehearsals with the SF ARTSEd players for the new musical "The Yellow Wood". A little bit about the show:

"The Yellow Wood" is a new musical theatre work that our organization's after-school musical theatre troupe will premiere before public and school matinee audiences in February and March 2007. This work is the story of a young boy with AD/HD (Attention Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder) and his struggles to adjust to his disability and revive personal relationships with family and friends during the difficult adolescent years. Recent statistics show that between 3-5% of the school age population are affected by AD/HD. Last winter, our organization, in cooperation with the New York University Graduate School of Musical Theatre, requested abstracts of new works by NYU graduate school students for our consideration for public performances by our youth musical theatre troupe. "The Yellow Wood" was selected from among the group of submissions. Subsequently our organization entered into an agreement with the librettist and composer, Michelle Elliott and Daniel Larsen, for our organization to produce and present the West Coast premiere of this work in 2007. Subsequently, "The Yellow Wood" won the Richard Rogers Award in February 2006 and NYU's Tisch School of the Arts Daryl Roth Award in May 2006.

I'm so eager to see the production. All these kids are talented and perform from the heart. Plus, of course I want to see what my baby does (my just as tall as me and taller when in heels, makeup wearing 13 year old baby, that is...) She's got the part of the head cheerleader. She decided this character of hers would, for reasons all her own, have a definite fascist bent. Should be interesting...

for more info on SF ARTSEd, go here and check out the musical theater page.

Under the stars...

2007-04-09T09:33:00.000-07:00

When you ask for help it comes... sometimes in unexpected ways.

Bruised - ego, pride, knuckles and knees...
Fury and rage under pressure over flowing...
Shock to the system, to the heart, to the mind...
I am wailing out to the universe... help me please...

Someone throws me a line.
CL calls me out of nowhere, hey I got an extra ticket to the John Legend show, wanna come?

Thank you!!!

Corinne Bailey Ray opens. She is soulful and her voice is like gold filigree... warm and hued, fragile, strong and beautiful. She sings the songs about heartbreak and pain and a heaven that ends. Oh great, just what I need.

John Legend gives a solid, suave, sensational performance. We are singing, we are grooving, we are saying yes sing it when he croons about being ordinary people, we are dancing when he does his rendition of Sly and the Family Stone's "Dance to the Music". I am thoroughly enjoying watching the back up singers. He brings Rae back on stage for the duet...wait for it... "Where Is The Love".

I am laughing, I am crying, I am mesmerized by the lights and the music, I am feeling the wave of energy of a sold out crowd.

Healing with music under the stars at the Greek Ampitheater.

*****

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.

Don't you think it's strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

What does one do when alone on a Friday night?

2007-04-03T16:06:00.000-07:00

First, you have dinner at your pinay girlfriend's place with her visiting French inlaws, that's what. The wine was flowing, the pasta was delicious, and the conversation accentuated! Those french sure CAN cook! (I finally got the secret to perfect al dente pasta... 8-10 minutes! and all this time i've been boiling those things for 12-14! You learn something new everyday!) Merci bucks!!

Then, when full of carbs, go check out Luce at Du Nord...what a blast! Met someone who flew all the way from San Diego just to check them out! Wow, that's a true fan. It was like a best of Luce kind of show. Shorter than their other shows, but packed with all that Luce flavor that I love. I am totally digging standing next to Adam Rossi and singin' along. Sometimes he smiles back... Kilig to the bones!! They ended their set with the bittersweet "Diamond Lights". I don't know if it was the wine, the carbs, or the PMS... but the last song just brought tears to my eyes. Still, it was a swell evening.

"So now we've got to make ourselves go out again,
buy new clothes again,
leave home again.
But even as the years go by
i'll always laugh
i'll always ask
how you feel..."

Pretty boyz backstage from POMO 2007...

you want horns? they got horns.

2007-03-18T21:55:00.000-07:00

Aphrodesia and mojitos at Mojito's in North Beach. The sound is "a sonic stew of Afrobeat, Highlife, dub, funk, Caribbean spice and East African trance music."

*****

"It's the pants! They are attracted to the pants!"
"No, it's a bar."

Happenings, or, "thank God for art or else i'd lose my mind..."

2007-03-13T15:22:00.000-07:00

Dancing with the man...
JV to Alberto V, Super duffy and Lara G:
"You guys gotta understand, Sean has never done movement before."
SSJ to APDT: "I can roll!"

Electric blue accordions, Touchblue comedy, Lot 25 hiphop, Bongbong productions with APDT and Prey...

Check out KULARTS' POMO 2007

Zeum Theatre 221- Fourth Street @ Howard, SFCA
8pm. Sat. March 24, 2007
3pm Sun. March 25, 2007

Ritual Cleansing

2007-03-09T11:25:00.000-08:00

It's true. We do these things. I did anyway.

Cut my hair (or what I lovingly called "the long black veil of sorrow") couple of days ago - pretty short now compared to before. And I feel great! Haven't painted the house yet, but I am eyeing the basement. I'll be clearing that soon and creating a new living space.

Cleanse, cleanse, cleanse. Purge, purge, purge.

Light...

2007-03-08T15:23:00.000-08:00

Boy that was an extremely rough and painful week. Let's not do that again anytime soon.

*

I worry
I weigh three times my body
I worry
I throw my fear around
But this morning
There's a calm I can't explain
The rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain

- Clarity
John Mayer

"OKAAAYYYYY???!!!" and "Oh no you DIDN'T!!!"

2007-03-02T13:40:00.000-08:00

Sam "Sammy" "Tiny Bubbles" Largo
01/21/70 - 02/18/07

Tiny Bubbles with 2 month old Agong
Likha PFE First Ever Tour to Vancouver, BC
October 1997

Michael at 4 months

2007-03-01T16:05:00.000-08:00

He's got C's eyes and J's hair...

Birthday of note...

2007-02-24T23:50:00.000-08:00

Michel Legrand - b.Feb 24, 1932

Guy Foucher: Are you in mourning?
Geneviève Emery: My mother died last autumn.
Guy Foucher: What name did you give our daughter?
Geneviève Emery: Francoise. She's very much like you. Would you like to see her?
Guy Foucher: I think you should go.

- Les Parapluies de Cherbourg, 1964

What are you doing the rest of your life?
North and south and east and west of your life
I have only one request of your life
That you spend it all with me

All the seasons and the times of your days
All the nickels and the dimes of your days
Let the reasons and the rhymes of your days
All begin and end with me

- music by M. Legrand

Twelve Steps... or AFGE*

2007-02-21T14:38:00.000-08:00

Oh what a ride this is going to be...

relief... giddy... hopeful...strong...impatient...uncertain...nervous...depressed...nauseous...dry heaving...self doubt...self pity...angry...extremely angry...tears...hopeful again...relief... giddy...uncertain... nauseous...

hopefully I'll never get to the point when I'll feel the need shave my head.

(*Another f*ing growth experience)

"And now for something completely different..."

2007-02-21T12:12:00.000-08:00

Read actual blog (replete with links) here.

Hi, my Name is Beth. And Gavin Newsom Rubbed my Back...

The Mayor is not the only one heading to group sessions these days. I was recently invited to attend the most recent monthly meeting of the Gavin Newsom Support Group: A Safe Place For Women. Consisting mostly of Gavin's former girlfriends, we met in a small conference room at the Marriott Fisherman's Wharf.

The meeting was called to order by President Kimberly Guilfoyle Ville-whatever as the rest of us grabbed the gratis Luna bars and cans of Tab. We sat around a conference table, where I was horrified to discover that I was wedged between Sofia Milos and Brittanie Mountz. Sofia smelled strongly of cheap perfume and jabbed me with her pointy-ass elbows as she leapt across the table and grabbed the blue necktie placed in the center.

Much like the conch, one needs to be in possession of this tie (purloined from Gavin's closet by one night stand Kiki Ramirez) to speak at a GNSG meeting.

Clearly desperate to begin, Sofia waved that tie up in the air shouting, "We begin, yes? I have to speak my heart!"

A dozen eyes sympathetically turned to Sofia and she droned on and on about Gavin (whom she referred to as Gareth) never taking her seriously or something. I could only understand about half of her rant, and was distracted by my struggle to breathe through her fragrance and billowing chiffon sleeves.

Finally, Kimberly dove in and proposed that Sofia give someone else a chance to speak, suggesting that Brittanie might have something to say on the subject. Brit grabbed the tie, took a swig of Tab and teared up.

"Not taken seriously? Please. Don't even talk to me about that. Gavin never once had a complete conversation with me. I still don't even know what he does for a living!"

The kid had a point.

She, too, had loads to vent about, complaining that Gavin's driver never let her take the Town Car out for a spin and that while he had initially confessed to loving pillow fights, Gavin "wasn't really into it."

Every single woman in that conference room looked at Brittanie like they knew exactly what she was talking about. Several dabbed their eyes with Kleenex as ho after ho took turns with that tie, lamenting Gavin's current situation and complaining about his inability to commit.

"I just don't see why Swiss Miss is such a big deal," whined Erin Brodie. "I mean, she doesn't even have a calendar."

In observing the participants of the GNSG, it became clear to me that Gavin clearly has a type. While boringly beautiful women, up close they're all kind of scary and desperate, paranoid eyes darting around the room and last year's Manolos nervously tapping the floor. Each of them had some long sob story, about how they were never accepted by Gavin's snobby friends or how Peter Ragone obviously never gives Gavin his messages. They even had an extra chair, just in case Swiss Miss showed up, which according to Kimberly, would be "any day now."

Towards the end of the meeting, I saw Ruby Rippey-Tourk try to sneak in through the back door. Kimberly, who hails from Jupiter and has eyes in the back of her head stopped her dead in her tracks. "Oh, look who's decided to join us. Thanks for showing, RUDE-Y. I hope you brought your dues check."

Ruby sheepishly shrugged, dropped her hobo bag next to Sofia and grabbed the tie.

"Sorry I've been missing meetings lately, it's been kinda crazy." Sofia leaned over to me and whispered, "Understatement of century, no?"

Ruby continued, "I'd like to thank you all for your well-wishes and prayers during this difficult time. Brittanie, your sweet card made from construction paper and dried macaroni totally brightened my day."

Brittanie looked up from her doodles (she was writing 'Brittanie Mountz-Timberlake' over and over) and smiled, having no clue what Ruby was talking about.

Kimberly suddenly stood up, marched over to Ruby and grabbed the tie back.

"This isn't about you, Ruby. This is about Gavin. Either talk about Gavin or shut up."

Ruby looked like she was about to cry. "I, er, uh, just wanted..." "Shut up, it is." Kimberly snapped, as she took the tie back to her place at the head of the table.

"Alright, ladies. As the only one here who managed to get an actual rock out of Gavin, I am adjourning this month's meeting. I'm already late. I was supposed to pick Eric up at Badlands 15 minutes ago. So unless anyone has anything else..."

"Wait!" Sofia crawled across the conference table and grabbed the tie. "I need someone explain to me why Gareth work at Christmas tree farm for drunks."

Kimberly rolled her (front) eyes. "What did I tell you, Mama Celeste?"

Sofia looked down. "I not to ask the stupid questions."

"Exactly. Does anyone have any intelligent questions?"

Needless to say, the room remained silent.

"Great. Then we're done.

Dozens of manicured hands grabbed their 90s-era Kate Spades and headed out of the Marriott, Dior sunglasses on before they stepped into the hallway. As we left the building, Brittanie clung to my arm and whispered, "Great meeting, huh? At least now I know what Gavin's job is. Christmas trees. Go figure."

Beth Spotswood describes herself as "The 29-year-old equivalent of Dorothy from The Golden Girls." She spends her free time pretending not to stare at crazy people screaming on San Francisco's sidewalks. Originally from Marin, Beth now lives in the Mission and doesn't get why people are so into burritos. Find Beth here every Wednesday at noon, and at I'll Flip You. Flip You For Real, where "The opinions expressed are ridiculous and in no way reflect anything of value. Do not take them seriously..."

New Day, New Year, New Life...

2007-02-20T14:01:00.000-08:00

Well... you didn't wake up this morning
Because you didn't go to bed
You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red
The calendar, on your wall, is ticking the days off

You've been reading some old letters
You smile and think how much you've changed
All the money in the world
Couldn't buy back those days.

You pull back the curtains, and the sun burns into your eyes,
You watch a plane flying across a clear blue sky.

THIS IS THE DAY -- Your life will surely change.
THIS IS THE DAY -- When things fall into place.

You could've done anything -- if you'd wanted
And all your friends and family think that you're lucky.
But the side of you they'll never see
Is when you're left alone with the memories
That hold your life together like
Glue

"This Is The Day"
The The

The Rings Are Off...

2007-02-18T07:53:00.000-08:00

12/26/92 - 02/17/07

Miscellany...

2007-02-15T11:04:00.000-08:00

The Luce show at Sweetwater Saloon was great fun! Of course i'm biased, i'm a huge fan... i'll always like their shows. Although there were some problems with the vocals microphones in the beginning, I didn't care much. Have to say, it was fun being right at front, almost dancing with Tom himself. They have a show 3/30 at Cafe du Nord. Thank God they have a show in the city! I won't have to drive to Redwood City for the 3/09 show. That might be considered too stalker-ish.

Little R is taking guitar lessons from Dylan Brock! I try not to be too star struck, play it cool. Like i'm not fazed. Of course deep inside, i'm like... god you guys are awesome! Little R likes learning guitar, wants to drop the clarinet lessons. But no way... The clarinet he's learning for free at school... and the aunties in Oregon went through a lot of trouble getting his instrument to him. So, clarinet and guitar til end of school year. We'll negotiate again after that.

Number 3 is truly the athlete. But she hates the thought of doing anything with a ball. On the way to the games, "I don't wanna go! I don't wanna play!" Everytime. But as soon as she gets there, she doesn't even turn to say goodbye. She's out of the car, off and running. Her volleyball coach says she's got some talent. If only I can get her to be more enthusiastic, or at least complain less. Not sure what the whining is all about. She obviously enjoys sports, and is competitive and good at it.

Speaking of sports... little R's Friday night basketball team remains undefeated. And his game is improving. Go Douglass Hawks!!

Lost some weight... on purpose! It's all true, you get to be a certain age, and your body starts doing things it didn't do before. My plan is simple... minimum of 30 min of exercise everyday... walking, running, taking dance class, going to gym, whatever! 5 a day (fruits and veggies... whatever form). More water. Less carbs... that one nearly killed me (though i'm surviving). And, no eating after 8pm. Surprisingly, i'm still in a good mood. Lost a few pounds even. I'm hopeful. Goal was to lose 15 pounds (i really gained some weight this last year) and have more energy (i've been extremely lethargic last few months). So far, lost 5 already, and the energy level is improving. Lower backache is gone too. Woohoo! Soon, my pants will fit again. Yes!!!

Would Make a Great Father's Day, Grad Day, Birthday or Even Christmas Present I Think...

2007-02-14T10:28:00.000-08:00

I love a good enlightening laugh in the morning. The kind of mirthful laugh that is both entertaining and thought provoking. The kind that makes you giggle because you're a little nervous and slightly embarrassed because, well, you agree. A kind of "well it's about time!" snigger.

Read here and enjoy...

Oregon pics...

2007-02-08T10:36:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving 2006...

"When we died we went to heaven, saw that God was really Elvis..."

2007-02-02T09:44:00.000-08:00

Tonight. Finally. I've been waiting for so long!

Luce is playing at Sweetwater Saloon in Mill Valley. My buddy J and I will be front and center, groovin', singin', drinkin' beer, like a couple of shameless brazen groupies with no curfew.

It's going to be so much fun!

*****

"I gotta let you know, that there are reasons for this,
If i'm gonna let you go, I'm gonna do it with a kiss..."

Luce
"With A Kiss"
2005

Inbox

2007-01-31T16:09:00.000-08:00

They grow up so fast...

J and Auntie Christina at ROFG, Manila 2003

Maya at Dance, 2006

I in Matigsalo territory, Mindanao, 2003

R (missing his front tooth) and Auntie Christina at ROFG, Manila 2003

"There's a little black spot on the sun today..."

2007-01-30T12:33:00.000-08:00

Have you heard? Oh, you must have heard!

The Police are reuniting! (at least for one night...)Awesome! I'll definitely be watching this show. Well, the Police opener anyway. The rest of the show I don't really care about...

I am giddy with anticipation. I wonder what they'll play. I wonder how they'll sound. I wonder if there will be a comeback album, or even a tour! And most importantly, I wonder where I put my old Synchronicity shirt?

*****

"Walked out this morning
Don't believe what I saw
A hundred billion bottles
Washed up on the shore
Seems I'm not alone at being alone
A hundred billion castways
Looking for a home"

"Message in a Bottle"
The Police
1979
from Reggatta de Blanc

Oysters anyone?

2007-01-24T13:41:00.000-08:00

Reading this inspired me to think of the other places in town I frequent for delectable bivalves. Kumamoto, Tomales Bay, Malpeque, Hog Island, you name it. Try one and all, compare the east coast vs the west coast, north coast vs south. I love them all. Briny or subtle, melon or cucumber finish. It's absolutely divine!

The article mentioned Zuni Cafe, and yes, the oysters there are marvelous. If you find yourself there, try the whole roasted chicken with bread salad as well. It is their signature dish, and just might be one of the best chicken experiences you'll ever have. Have some bubbly with the oysters, and a nice red with the chicken, and you're all set for a memorable meal. The place gets crowded, so try seating by the bar if you don't have a reservation. It's nice and cozy.

I've always enjoyed happy hour at Mecca. From 5-7pm, every night of the week, $1 oysters and $6 cocktails. How can you beat that? I just perch myself by the bar (the happy hour special is only available in the bar area), order a few of every kind of oyster they have, and just have a go at it. The fries are also fantastic!

Bacar has a nice selection too. I get confused though as to which day of the week they have the happy hour special ($1 dollar oysters). Their mussels are to die! And they've got this foie gras mousse appetizer that will send you to heaven.

Bar Crudo is fantastic for an all seafood meal. Sit at the raw bar, order a bottle of Prosecco and watch the chef's do their thing. It's a tiny tiny place on Bush and Stockton, and everything is fresh everyday.

Pesce on Polk Street is all about the Italian cicchetti. But the oysters are always fresh, and almost everything on the menu is delicious.

BluPointe on Kearny has a great happy hour deal too. But somehow, I could never enjoy that place. The music's too loud, and there's just too much attitude. Or maybe i'm just getting too old, or at least past the demographic they're going for.

I've yet to go to Hog Island Oyster, it's on my list. And one of these days i'll make it to Swan Oyster Depot and order dozens of oyster to take home. But what can I say, for me the experience is all about sitting at the bar/rawbar and watching the shucking action.

As to my preferred beverage accompaniment... I guess it depends on my mood, on the weather, and what i'm wearing. But almost anything goes... any kind of bubbly works (from Spanish Cava, to Italian Prosecco, to Champagne, to California sparkling wine), any kind of white (Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Gris, Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay, I've heard Chablis... i haven't tried that yet), and to any kind of beer... though maybe not the darker beers. Cocktails work too... but I generally don't like to mix sweet drinks with oysters. (although i've been known to have several bellini's at Mecca during happy hour... it's such a pretty shade of pink/peach/fuschia...)

Anyone care to add their favourite oyster place? or have a recommendation?

Now if you'll excuse me, it's quitting time, and happy hour's started...

So here it is...

2007-01-23T11:42:00.000-08:00

John L. said to me, "Update your blog!"

Overkill

2007-01-21T09:32:00.000-08:00

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Perhaps its just my imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It's time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night
From overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

- Overkill (Acoustic)
by Colin Hay

Lessons...

2007-01-20T23:36:00.000-08:00

I've learned
that during times of confusion
the best thing to do
is to let go.

So I fall...

Violent Femmes at The Fillmore tonight...

2006-12-28T10:26:00.000-08:00

Beautiful girl lovely dress
High school smiles oh yes
Beautiful girl lovely dress
Where she is now I can only guess
Cause its gone daddy gone
Your love is gone
Gone daddy gone
The love is gone away
When I see you
Eyes will turn blue
When I see you
Thousand eyes turnin blue
Tell by the way you that you switch and walk
I can see by the way that you baby talk
I can know by the way you treat your man
I can love you baby til its a cryin
Beatiful girl lovely dress
15 smiles oh yes
Beautiful girl lovely dress
Where she is now I can only guess

Ups and Downs...

2006-12-12T12:09:00.000-08:00

For those who haven't heard, Sugar Pie DeSanto is not doing very well since the fire that destroyed her apartment and took the life of her husband. If you are able to help in any way donate here.

*

"The Pursuit of Happyness" is a movie not to be missed. It tells the inspiring story of Chris Gardner. It's also one of the best San Francisco movies i've ever seen, showing both beautiful and gritty sides of the city without the usual romanticizing. It is a powerful film about an amazing man, and it all happened right here in our town. See it when it comes out.

Connected

2006-12-11T15:14:00.000-08:00

DRS: "Welcome to the modern world."

After years and years of active resistance, I just couldn't keep the tide at bay any longer, I finally threw my hands up and acquiesced. Yes folks, I got myself a cell phone. Now all those who complain I don't have the cellular device may rejoice and find me anywhere, anytime.

Will I rue the day?

And while we're on about technology, I also got the IPod device (c/o tech guy extraordinaire G. Cruz), as well as the Power Mac G5 (with accompanying double flat screens - again c/o Mr. Cruz). Of course i'm no stranger to technology. We've got the digital cameras (3), the IPod Nanos (2), a few mp3 recorders (3 or 4), the laptop, etc. But the phone, that was the final frontier.

Will life ever be the same again?

LG to GC: "I have all this computing power, and I still couldn't figure out how to insert a disc!"

Nothing like a macho wine to keep you warm...

2006-12-08T09:49:00.000-08:00

The vine's the thing...

The rain is coming...are you ready? Check out the latest from W. Blake Gray. I think it offers a good list of various ways to keep warm.

If like me, you wonder what they drink in Middle Earth, or even Alagaesia for that matter,you might enjoy this little read.

Roast the meats! Bring out the bargain wines! The rain is upon us!

And, do NOT mess with the Shade!

11/15/97

2006-11-15T08:59:00.000-08:00

Juju-ism's...

First thing she said upon waking up..."I'm nine..."
"It's children's day today in China!"
"Happy cheeseday!!"
"I am so great, so great, so great, so great..."

Number 3 is 9 today!

11/06/93

2006-11-06T14:12:00.000-08:00

Number One is 13 today. Thirteen. A bonafide, certified (terrified?) teen ager.

Wowsers!

Number one’s got a confidence and creativity I never had at that age. I was wide eyed and bewildered. Not this kid, she knows who she is, and who she isn’t, where she’s going, or at least, where she’d like to go. She has her own sense of style and is no fashion victim. She’s clever, funny, fiercely independent and extremely flexible. I wish I was her when I was 13.

I am duly impressed.

What were you doing at 13?

Do Over's

2006-11-02T14:49:00.000-08:00

"As much as I wished that I could invoke that magical rule like a secret weapon out of my back pocket, the harsh reality is that you have to own up to your decisions and live with your mistakes." – From donger needs food

I was reading Dongkwans' blogspot about do over's and car washes, and I have to agree, if only life were as convenient as a $15 car wash. And I'm thinking, yep, there are no do over's. You have whatever experiences you experience, whether good or regrettable, and you're stuck with it. And on this fine, rainy fall Thursday, I'm thinking about some of those experiences I wish I never went through. Well, not really thinking about them as much as being besieged by monstrously unwelcome memories. And no matter how much Halloween candy I consume, I’m not getting that sugar high that would render me artificially high and giddy. So try as I might, certain images keep forcing their way into my consciousness, and I inevitably have to ponder on them. Unfortunately, you can never un-see something you see. You can’t do over certain things either. They kind of get stuck in your brain. There are days I can deal with these pesky thoughts, tuck them away under the “things that don’t kill you can only make you stronger” file, and I can feel good about how much empowered I feel by the simple act of stating reclamation. Then, there are days like today when the memories just keep moving and wafting like an unpleasant odor I can’t get rid of, and I realize, hey, that stink is coming from me, and I know it’s hours before I can take a bath and there just isn’t enough cinnamon apple Glade aerosol spray to cover the stench, and I can't get out of my own skin fast enough.

Nope, there are no do over’s. Just “keep moving’s”. As in, when you see an accident on the side of the freeway and the CHP says “keep moving folks, there’s nothing to see here”… but really there’s a truck that’s turned over and twisted into an unrecognizable heap of jagged metal and you can’t help but stare and wonder what the hell happened, and secretly think, ooh, can I see blood? Then you remind yourself to keep your eye on the road and concentrate on driving before you end up in a similar situation, but your having a tad trouble focusing 'coz of all the E you took the night before, which would explain why you're on that stretch of highway at that ungodly hour on a Sunday morning, and it would be sadly ironic if you die in a car accident 'coz you couldn't concentrate 'coz of all the subtances you consumed in order to survive the ordeal of the previous evening. Just keep moving.

Or, when there’s a restaurant where you really enjoyed the food but you can never go back because the memories of your time there was so horrible that the thought of the steak tartare special from that joint either makes you want to scream in terror ‘coz you’re afraid of reliving a nightmare, or makes you wistfully sigh because you don’t know if you’ll ever find a steak tartare just as good and perfectly blended. Too bad it’s actually that and not just like that. Just keep moving. I guess the thing to remember is there are plenty other restaurants, specially in this town.

Since I can’t have a do over, best I can do is not do over the things I want to have do over’s for. Sounds like a simple enough plan. Now, how to get rid of that awful smell, it seems to be stuck in my hair and in the upholstery.

Varieties...

2006-10-24T12:06:00.000-07:00

It was white...
No, it was pink...

Dreary, dreary, dreary...

2006-10-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

Have you gotten it yet? The final book, Book 13... The End. We've been waiting for it since last year, since Book 12, The Penultimate Peril.

Book 13 came out, appropriately, on Friday Oct. 13. Oh, the villainy, the misery! Number One and Little R finished book 13 already. Number One spent all night the day we got it reading page to page. Little R can't contain himself... "oh my god, it's so good!" I have to beg them not tell me anything. I want to discover for myself what happens to the Baudelaire orphans in the end of The End.

There's a reading too, on Oct 28. Yep, you bet we already got our tickets.

Check out the videos. Enjoy!

Carpe diem...

2006-10-12T12:38:00.000-07:00

It is so true what they say, that a woman gets better with age. In my case, I think I'm getting braver. Now that I am 38, almost 40 really, I feel I finally have enough courage and wisdom to try things I never even dare think was possible before. What do I have to lose? I'm getting older everyday, and time is passing me by. Do I just sit and wait? I begin to ask myself, as each day passes, do I allow myself to grow older wiser? Or do I remain shrouded in ignorance? Life is not a rehearsal. The past, present and future are all one. What am I waiting for? In just 10 more years, i'll be fifty. What am I waiting for? Live now!!

So I did. I finally did it. I didn't think it was possible, but I did it. Over the weekend I did something I've never done before, I never thought it was within the realm of possibility. Other people do that, I always said to myself, but not me, I simply don't have it in me. I've heard rumors, whispers from people in the know. The thought that I would do this now, of all times, was so totally outrageous. But I took the leap anyway. And then after all was said and done, I discovered that not only did I have the courage to finally take the plunge into the unknown, but I liked it. I liked it so much I did it again, day after day, for 4 days straight. I even started experimenting, delving deeper into the unknown. It was exciting, invigorating, thrilling beyond my wildest fantasies. And, it was absolutely sensually, almost wickedly, delicious and exotic. My body couldn't get enough. When I think about it now, I can't help but ache and yearn for more.

It started Saturday afternoon, after I saw my shrink. The sun was out. It was a beautiful day. I felt renewed with confidence, I felt daring. I decided I'd try it once and for all. I'd surprise everyone. I wasn't sure if I could do it, but I thought, this is the day. After all these years. This is the day I am finally going to make... chicken adobo.

My mother, not being a cooking kind of mom, never taught me how to cook anything, except for rice (being the good Filipina that she is). All I know is there's vinegar, soy sauce, garlic. But how much and what where the proportions? What kind of soy sauce? Kikkoman or the filipino kind? Are there other ingredients? Do you brown the chicken first? Do you marinate? Or do you just put it all in a pot? Is it like stew? Like soup? How much liquid should there be? Do you boil it down to something like a reduction? What IS a reduction anyway? How long do you cook it? Are there herbs? Salt? Pepper? It's just so complicated!

I thought, bahala na man! Let's just do it. I bought chicken drumsticks, put them in a big pot. I added vinegar, soy sauce, garlic. I just poured. I waited for it to boil. I watched the pot, not sure of what I was doing. Am I just wasting fowl? And think of the children!! What will they eat if this doesn't work out. We will surely go to bed hungry tonight if this doesn't pan out.

After what seemed like ages, I took a tiny spoonful of the brown elixir, the acrid scent of boiling vinegar scorched my throat and burned my eyes. I closed my eyes, and sipped. Hmmm, not bad, I think it needs more soy. Then out of nowhere, inspiration... Bay leaf! Somewhere a voice within me said, add some bayleaves. So I did, and then I waited again...

I served the brown concoction to my kids. "Ooooh Adobo!!" Raffy said... pronouning the O like in "donut". How do you know what Adobo is, I asked. I've had it before, it's delicious, he said, wide smiled and expectantly. They dove in, and ate. I held my breath. I watched them in silence. Then the sounds of glee came pouring. Oh it's so good Mom! I want more! I want seconds! I want more sauce! I need more rice! I couldn't believe it. It was a success! We ate almost all of it.

The next night, we had adobo again, this time I added more chicken, even chicken gizzard and hearts. We couldn't get enough. I discovered adobo pairs well with Sauvignon Blanc.

"Adobo again tonight?" I asked them on the third night. "Yay!!! Yes, more adobo!" they claimed unanimously. On a tip, I used balsamic vinegar instead of regular vinegar, and I added brown sugar. It was even better than the night before. "Ooh it's a little sweeter tonight Mom, I like it!"

I've never in my life cooked adobo. My kids have had it only once or twice before. I never questioned who I am as a Filipina woman. But this newfound knowledge of an age old recipe, from my ancestors, my people, has renewed my sense of Pinay identity. I feel reconnected to my ancient past, the spirits of long ago guiding me as I feed my children the food of our culture. I can do anything!! I am glad I finally took the plunge and finally learned to cook adobo. The mystery of adobo has been revealed! Now that I know how to make it, with god as my witness, we will never go without adobo again!

Next time, maybe tomorrow night, I'll try it with lemongrass...

Kids, we're having adobo tonight!!!

(photo taken from the Web)

To gel or not...

2006-10-04T13:53:00.000-07:00

BIG news of the day...Check it out here. And you gotta check out the photos at the bottom of the page. It's not so much the story as the 'do.

Oh heck... i'll add one here now.

The Mayor's new do, or, the Mayor's gone undone...